Wednesday, January 28, 2009

But You Look Fabulous

Thank you, I acknowledge that I do look healthy.  I've lost weight.  I'm eating healthy and exercising.  It's nice to hear those compliments.

But please keep this in mind:  I do not feel fabulous.  I do not enjoy the 13 plus pills I take during a day so that hopefully in a few months I might be able to function at a higher lever.  If I wasn't working so hard to feel better inside, I would not look like I do on the outside.

I understand you are trying to make me feel better, reminding me how I look.  I would also love the acknowledgment of how I feel, and of how hard I am working.  It may not look like it.   It may look like I am laying in bed all day, or under my heavy warm soft blankets in my recliner.  Some days, just opening my eyes is hard work.

I've loved all the support I've received from everyone, and I'm not by any means saying I want this support to stop.  Just know that what is on the outside, the slim strong body I am gaining through doing yoga, my smile and brighter eyes, has taking me a long time to get there.  Even if I look like I could pop out of my chair at any moment, it won't happen.  Please understand.


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