Monday, September 29, 2008

It Stops Today

Lately I've been spending way too much time feeling sorry for myself. That is going to stop today. I'm not saying that I won't have bad days... I'm just going to try and have less. A beautiful day was ruined yesterday, because I let myself be upset. I didn't start the day as planned, waking up several times in the middle of the night, then sleeping through the alarm to head to church. Missing church made me miss the day. The only way I can take this illness is one hour at a time, but I've been letting what happens in previous hours effect the present hour. I'm going to try to make that happen less.

I haven't been writing a heck of a lot about the environment, social justice, or Christianity lately. This is mostly because I haven't had any particularly positive things to say. I'm going to try to write one post a week that has some substance on a topic that I'm passionate about.

I haven't been walking as much as I would like or need to because I've been in a lot of pain or extremely tired. I'm going to try and walk 3 days a week no matter how bad I feel.

I haven't been asking for help. And many days I seriously need it. Instead of whining, I'm going to try to ask for help from more people.

I complain because no one understand what I'm going through or how I feel, but I haven't tried to explain it in ways that they can understand. I'm going to try to start explaining my illness instead of just complaining about something I can't change.

Ryan and I have been doing this by ourselves for way too long, and I know he's getting tired. I'm going to try and assemble a team of people to help me accomplish more and feel the best I can.

There has to be more, but I think this is good for today. Notice I say I'm going to TRY to do each of these things. I know there are going to be times that I fail miserably. But I am going to make the best effort possible to make those times few and far between.

PS. I found a new favorite website that is being all inspirational and stuff: www.chronicbabe.com

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Go Chrissy, we are all rooting for you. Love and hugs, Penny

Michelle said...

I actually have a few friends (including you) who are all our age going through the same thing. And with my husband having experience in the medical world (even if it is just the lab), I do kind of understand some of what you must be going through. If you need anything let me know. I know I'm a few states away, but even if its a shoulder to cry on or an ear to complain to, I'm here for you. As far as being positive, I've needed some help with that myself lately, so I bought a journal and each night I write at least one good thing that happened (even if it's as small as my favorite show is on tv). I dont let myself write anything negative and then if I'm feeling down I can read all the positive things that have happened lately or all the wonderful people I have in my life and it some how makes me feel better. ;) Keep in touch and I'm only a phone call away. ~ Michelle

Chrissy Joy said...

Thanks Michelle and Penny!

I stopped watching the news.... One less stressful thing to think about.

Anonymous said...

Hi Tine, 1 positive thing today, you wrote a good post. Michelle's idea of a journal of good things sounds like a great idea to me. Do you remember when I use to give "Happy Time" jars to newley weds? Talked to Alice Green today, she told me to tell you that she and the other ladies from DH are still praying for you. The walking is very good. Also, asking for help is hard but a good thing. love you xoxoxo hugs mom

ChronicBabe said...

hey chica, thanks for mentioning chronicbabe - i'm so glad it's a good resource for you.

as for your vow to yourself: i'm so with you! i know you can do it. it's not easy to power through - and sometimes it's not healthy - but there's nothing that can really stop your attitude from staying strong, even if your body doesn't want to cooperate. i'm so proud of you for being such a tough chick and keep at it. practice practice practice. and remember, too that progress isn't linear - so if you screw up one day, don't beat yourself up - just pick yourself up the next day and try again.

can you tell you inspired me today? :) hugs, jenni