Friday, September 12, 2008

Digging Further

In my last post my very very dear friend Jim asked me what Romans 12 means for me personally right now? It's not a secret that I've been struggling with life over the past year, and have had some terrible moments. Some of these moments included me being very angry for no real reason other than I had just run out of every other emotion to have.

I replied to Jim in a comment below, but I wanted to dig a little further into why at this particular time Romans 12 was something that came to mind. I had to think why I posted it to begin with. When I finally remembered it didn't have anything to do with the way Eugene Peterson interprets the scripture in The Message (even though this is my favorite way to read it.)

At some point yesterday I came across Romans 12:12 (NIV), which says "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." There was no context to the scripture, just written as a "favorite quote" on facebook. I looked at it, and thought what does it mean for me to be joyful, patient, and faithful?

Joyful isn't hard, I understand joy (it's my middle name after all) I've felt joy many many times in my life time, two particular times were when my niece and nephew were born.

I think I'm familiar with being faithful as well. I've posted before that I've learned that I've become really great at being thankful in prayer, and praying for others, but I really am not good at praying for myself. I hope that while I'm working on this, others will continue to pray for me as I have for them.

Patient, especially in affliction, is a little harder for me. I'm not a patient person, almost anyone who knows me will recognize this. And ESPECIALLY in affliction. I almost feel that I haven't had a choice over this last year than to be patient. But what I want to make clear is that being patient isn't settling. It's not saying that "I'm sick, I can't live the way I use to, and I'm just going to give up."

I think what being patient has meant for me is that I need to trust the doctors that things will get figured out, and treatments will eventually work, and in the mean time I need to be patient that God will comfort me until that time comes.

I feel lucky that there will be a treatment and I will start to feel better, for some this is not the case. And for these people I pray that God will sooner rather than later provide them with comfort.

So Jim, my friend, I guess that is what Romans 12 is saying to me now.

1 comment:

Pastor Jim said...

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." Wow! Talk about a scripture jumping right out at you. I think the things that you are struggling with, health issues with no answers in particular, are unfortunately all too common in today's society. Perhaps they have been that way for all times. For me this scripture says that no matter what happens we are never alone, even though at times we may feel that way. I know that God is always with you, and I know that Ryan has been as well, even through the difficult year that you have had, and I have to smile when I read your mom's thoughts to you, it is obvious that she loves you very much. Always remember that God is good all the time, and when we are at our lowest point, that is the time that God will carry us through:)