Four Weeks

I've successfully made it through the first four weeks of the semester.  It doesn't stop though, already on to the fifth.  I was going to do some blogging, but realized I'm not in the right frame of mind.

I've been reflecting a lot about what things were life before I was as sick as I am.  Also about things surrounding career desires and future plans.  But they will have to be for another day.  Just wanted to let you know that I'm still here, trucking along.

Presenting Myself

After two years of considering myself "on medical leave" from public life, I have returned to the classroom as a student to hopefully successfully finish up my Master of Theological Studies degree.

I have ALWAYS been self conscious and insecure about how I present myself to others, and what others perceive of me.  Before you all go commenting about how WONDERFUL I am ;) I know this.  If you were to ask me to tell you honestly how I felt about myself I would give myself glowing recommendations.  I think I'm honest about my strength, weaknesses, and flaws.  But this doesn't make the anxiety about others perceptions any better.

Over the years I've gathered bits and pieces of what I can from what others would say about me on their first (second, third) impressions.  It's a bit amusing, and I'm kind of wondering if you all agree with this depiction of myself.

• in high school a boy broke up with me because I was "too bubbly" this was not his real reason, but the one he gave me. I am since glad that relationship did not last very long.
• a friend I knew through band festivals in high school once told me that he thought I was intimidating for guys because I was so confident about myself and (especially high school guys) people were not use to that.
• a college professor told me in conversation about discussions inside and outside of the classroom that sometimes I'm right on, and some times I say things that are very irrelevant.
• during recruiting for my sorority in college a sister said that when she was going through recruitment she thought I was scary.
• several people have told me that they thought that I hated them before they go to know me.

So I don't know.  Honestly, I think I'm too much to handle for some people.  I'm a people person (with insecurity issues, I know right!), I'm energetic and I tell it like it is.  I don't have a problem with being honest, and sometimes I over share.

As I'm trying to pull my life into some kind of academic, professional, future order how I present myself is going to become important to me.  Mostly I would like to form a career upon being me and assisting organizations and individuals in the things that I am passionate about.  Tell me what your perception of me is... for real, go ahead, click the comment button.  I think I'm awesome so you won't hurt my feelings. :)

NASA and Beekeepers Teaming Up!

Over the last 5 years or so I've taken a special interest in Honey Bees. It comes not only from my love of honey, but also at the realization of what amazing creatures they are. They live in an incredibly organized society and work hard to preserve themselves. Honey bees are also crucial to the pollination of our fruits, vegetables, and flowers. What if our pollinators started disappearing? What would happen to our food?

Well, some bees are disappearing and no one is quite sure why. The HoneyBeeNet program is investigating climate change to analyze what impact it might have on Colony Collapse Disorder and general bee populations. Check out the link below to read more about how NASA and beekeepers are teaming up to investigate this phenomenon.

NASA and Beekeepers Use Satellites and Scales To Monitor Climate Change Impact on Bees : TreeHugger

Proof Reading

So recently I have really noticed how much it bothers me when people are trying to make a point on the internet and they do not take the time to proof read what they write.

First of all, I think that more and more people are making off hand remarks without putting real consideration into their actual beliefs.  This has stemmed from the easy access to a public forum made available by sites like facebook and Twitter.  Not to mention that we have prominent media figures and politicians doing the same thing.

I ALWAYS think about what I'm going to say before I ever write it.  So please never take anything I say lightly.  But I have noticed that I may not take the time to proof read before I hit the send button.  With loads of academic writing coming under my feet, this will be a new goal for me. 

So I ask you my faithful reader (all 3 of you) to hold me accountable both for what I say and for my spelling and grammar when I say it.

Six Cultural Trends That Are Not Saving The Earth : TreeHugger

Check this article on Treehugger out. These are things that I would like to blog about, but it's much easier for me to just point to someone who has already said it. I take two of these fairly personally, but am also aware of the consequences and am racking my brain for solutions. Note the picture they include with the "Advent of HDTV" while I do not have an HDTV myself I do enjoy participating in the watching experiences they create. I don't think it's a coincidence that they fans are Buckeyes!
And, as a self professed "pill popper" I'm not exactly sure what to do with expired and unused medication. They sit in my drawers taking up space, but I surely don't want them to pollute the water supply, what to do, what to do. Click on the link below to read the article.

Six Cultural Trends That Are Not Saving The Earth : TreeHugger

Twitter

I started this blog post with something witty, but somehow it got erased.  So without much further ado here is a little bit of what I have to say about Twitter.

According to Wikipedia Twitter, a social networking and micro-blogging website, was created in 2006 by Jack Dorsey.  I'm not exactly sure when I became aware of Twitter but it has dominated many social media conversations for awhile now.  

I'm always a little behind on the social media train anyways, not getting on facebook or MySpace till after I had graduated from college and was married.  These two things, mainly designed for college aged folks to keep in touch and learn about new and interesting things, especially music in the case of Myspace, have evolved in to much larger networks.  

After awhile I dropped Myspace, it was slow and people put a lot of junk on their profiles that I just didn't want to look at.  Facebook is simpler, and I have connected with over 600 people who I know in person or have met one way or another online.  

Then enters Twitter.  I am not the most tech savvy person, I still really don't understand RSS feeds (although as a blogger maybe I should?), or rarely ever use to send or receive text messages.  But very quickly Twitter became the fastest and most prolific way for me to send and access information.  I do not have a so called "smart phone" but the basic text messaging, which my phone was designed for allows me to send Tweets (a short message, less than 140 characters) on the go.  I can also have tweets of particular interest sent to my phone.  Occasionally I find myself wanting to access the mobile web my phone has but I do not pay for on my plan because of a tweet I receive, but I suck it up and wait till I get home.

Some people may find that attraction on have for Twitter boarding on obsessed, but it's not all bad folks, I have surely reaped some benefits from my new friend.  I have won contests for clothing and concerts, I have made connections in my city and across the country, and I've been able to keep up with business and websites I respect.  

I connect with others who have chronic conditions similar to my own.  I can read the latest thoughts of critical thinkers around the subject of the environment, or theology, or sports, or politics, or entertainment, or the economy, or fashion, or... or... or... 

There are people out there who specialize in social media and could tell you all kinds of fun facts about what Twitter and other social media websites can do for your business or organization.  But I'm not one of them.  There are also all kinds of software developers out there creating new tools for social media everyday.  That's not me either.  I take what is given to me and use it. 

So this post is really just saying "FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER" and get to know the world like I am getting to know it.

February

So, it's February.  Despite a serious kidney infection, January went fairly well.

I was able to start blogging on a more regular basis, which has really been a goal for a very long time.  I would like to start generating more content for my blog, as well as interact with other blogs and bloggers.  The focus on Living in the MidWest is wide and basically consists of the things that are of most interest to me at a particular time on a particular day.  Perhaps I would have a wider reader base if I narrowed my focus more and marketed to a particular audience, but that's just not how I roll.

I had a professor once, who after reading my blog commented that it really wasn't about "anything" which is in way true.  It's condensed stream of conscious, which should really give you a peak into my crazy, dreaming, idealistic mind.

What I wish were true and what is actual reality are sometimes very different, and it often becomes a source of anxiety for me.

Alas, I hope that it provides at the least a moment of entertainment for you, if not a helpful piece of insightful information.

My classes start on Wednesday, hopefully they will generate some good theological based postings in the near future.  My biggest anxieties revolve around the severe fatigue I deal with on a regular basis.  Never mind that I'm in a constant state of discomfort because of the pain caused by fibromyalgia (which is exhausting in itself) there are days that no matter how much I rest I can barely function enough to watch TV.  How this is going to translate into school work, reading, writing, reflecting, and attending class is yet to be seen.

I'm preparing how I'm going to approach the subject with my professors.  I've never been a good student, I've always done just enough to get by, pulling all nighters and last minute cram sessions.  For the most part it worked pretty well.  However, with my new health status, this is NOT going to work anymore, maybe it will make a me a better student.  As a life long underachiever I hope that this will positively affect my grades.

I need to be self motivated, otherwise plans that I have for future life endeavors are never going to happen.

Anyways, like I said, a stream of consciousness.

Enjoy your February and hopefully you will hear from me soon.