Thursday, May 19, 2011

It's occurred to me...

That I suck at anything with the word "daily" in it.  I can't blog, I can't draw, hell I can't even crochet if it means doing it everyday consistently.

And I suppose that's one of the struggles of being the Woobie.

This isn't something that just occurred to me, and it's not the result of any of my chronic conditions.  It's just who I am.
Ask my mom how hard it was to get me to practice my clarinet on a daily basis.

In fact one of the only things I do do everyday is take my prescriptions, but I'm pretty sure that's because I've been doing it since I was 12, and the mom was a big part of starting the habit.

So that's why when you follow this blog I sometimes have something brilliant to say and other times I'm silent for so long.  It's really who I am and how I live my life.

Does it get me the most readers or help me make more money?  No, but that's not why I'm here.  I'm here to share experiences, entertain, and be your friend.

I know so many people who write amazing blogs and are really successful, and I'm so proud to call them my friends.  But that's not who I am I guess, and I still struggle with that.  I don't fit into some neat box of "blogger" or "writer" or "entrepreneur."  It's actually quite frustrating when so much of life is based on labels.

When you meet someone for the first time, they usually ask "What do you do?"  For me it's a rather long and complicated answer, so I usually reply with "nothing."  And that sucks, that's not what I want to say, but saying "I crochet" doesn't really get the response I'm looking for.  So for now, I start with "nothing" and explain more about my life to them.  Some people are really interested in hearing my story, and others can't be bothered.
I get discouraged.

I have no purpose for writing this other than to say this is where I'm at.  I have a killer headache and perhaps and ear ache today.  I am mostly just hanging with the cat and watching Netflix.  This really isn't by choice, but I play with the hand I'm dealt.  And if that's not enough for you, I'm sorry.  I can't be anyone other than who I am.

So for now, until I actually get to a point in my life where "daily" is actually possible.  I'm just me, The Woobie, your friend.  And I'm asking you to love me for that.

6 comments:

Jenn said...

I love ya. And anyone who doesn't accept and love you for just who you are probably isn't a good friend. Miss ya.

Carolyn said...

This is why I HATE writing my Twitter bio, speaker bios, anything that requires me to summarize myself and the point of my existence within the confines of a strict limit of characters. That, and, I refuse to be defined by what I DO. What I do has little bearing on who I am as a person (though I suppose who I am has a lot to do with what I do...). But you're right - life is driven by labels. And when we can't easily and quickly define something by a small, neat set of words, we become uncomfortable.

But I kind of like make people uncomfortable... that feeling lends itself well to growth and development.

Chrissy Joy said...

For me I think I need to get over my own discomfort with who I am in order to help people get over the idea of using labels.  Even when I could put a label "seminary student" I obviously didn't fit into what people thought that should be and rarely used it to define myself.

Chrissy Joy said...

love you too Jenn, and miss you always. 

Valerie W. said...

I think this is part of the reason why I am terrified to finally finish my degree in a year or so... It's so easy to tell people I'm a "student" rather than have to explain why I'm 

Rita Juse-Cirkse said...

Hi sister! Feeling pretty much like you, but I never say I do nothing, as I do as much, as I can every day! But sometimes it's a really frustrating (illusive) feeling of not fitting anywhere ...