Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Identity

Awhile back I started writing my manifesto. The culmination of all I believe and aspire for. I've kind of stalled. This has to do with the fact that I'm not even sure who I am, or what I aspire to do. Most of my beliefs are pretty steadfast, I am pretty clear on how I feel about right and wrong and the gray areas in between. But I don't know how to synthesize this into words and into an identity that is myself.

Throughout high school and college, I identified myself by the people I spent my time with. They are great people who I enjoyed being around. I often accomplished great things with these people. But that is only one way of defining oneself, and I do not believe that this method works for me anymore.

For one thing, I spend a heck of a lot more time by myself these days as I try to become healthier. Also, I have also found that the people I spend my time with are vastly different from myself and from one another. As adults we all have different interests, desires, needs, and goals. My friends are not defined by my extra curricular activities, social clubs, and academic interests as they once were. And this is tripping me up a bit.

Because of the differences I see in my friends I am having a hard time seeing who I am. I highly value the relationships that I have, and every person brings something unique and different to the table. Now it is time for me to figure out what exactly I bring with me.

I have lot so hobbies and passions. I believe that my deepest desire is to explore the place where theology and ecology intersect. I'm still not exactly sure what that means in terms of a vocation and the actual practical part of living. This is where I need to work the most. To discover my own path, separate from anyone else, but contributing to the lives of those that I come in contact with.

That is what I have tried to do with this blog over the years. To bring all of my interests together and share them with you in some kind of cohesive form. I've been on the short side of posting lately and my interests have wandered and broadened quite a bit since I began writing. With that said, I hope to contribute more in the near future. I hope also, that you, my readers will contribute to the conversation.

3 comments:

judyschoon said...

Deep thoughts....I am so glad to see you are again exploring ideas.
1st above all, you are God's child and He desires you to be the you He created. So the points you are making are all very valid. Great post ! hugs mom

Matt said...

You have an interesting perspective. I've never really seen you as anything other than "unique" (in a good way!)

My thoughts are that the people we surround ourselves with don't so much define our identity, but they reflect it as in a mirror. As we move through life and our "complexion" changes, so does the image in the mirror. Its not a complete analogy though, since I agree our friendships and experiences with those friends do shape us.

1st above all, you are God's child and He desires you to be the you He created.

Wise words from your mom! :-)

I have lot so hobbies and passions. I believe that my deepest desire is to explore the place where theology and ecology intersect. I'm still not exactly sure what that means in terms of a vocation and the actual practical part of living. This is where I need to work the most. To discover my own path, separate from anyone else, but contributing to the lives of those that I come in contact with.

This sounds very much like "Eastern" Christianity. I could absolutely picture you as a nature guide at a National Park someday. Just a thought!

Pastor Jim said...

Chrissy,
You are asking all the right questions! But, you will find that the answers are sometimes moving along with you on your journey! I am almost 50 years old and still ask those questions. I think that seminary has really helped focus my attention on the right questions, but the answers are still often times elusive! Keep writing, keep asking the tough questions and trust me, about the time that you think that you have something figured out... someone changes the question:)
Blessings