Updated

So I figured I should update my blog, it's been awhile since I've posted anything with substance.  The last several weeks have been filled with extreme fatigue and a few good days.  Last Monday I was able to ride my bike to have tea with a friend, that was good exercise.  But then Ryan and I both came down with an illness that kept us in the house till Thursday.

Thursday was the day I saw a new doctor in the Cleveland area at the Fibromyalgia and Fatigue Center.  It's an integrative approach to treating fibro and chronic fatigue.  I won't say much about it now as I just had one appointment and do not know how things are going to work out.  I'm hopeful but do not want to get excited before I actually start seeing results.  While my pain was fairly controlled on the mediations I was taking, the fatigue was unbearable and I was not able to do much of anything.  I am on a protocol of supplements and vitamins, as well as continuing my regular medications.  I'm sleeping better right from the start.  So that's a positive.  But that's all I really want to say about my treatment until I know more.

I haven't been on the yoga mat in a long time.  I've just been too exhausted to even think about it.  I still try to stretch on a regular basis so I do not get too stiff.  My right shoulder has been the biggest bother.  It's is knotted and gets cramped and just plain hurts.  My right hip is also one of my bigger issues, but that seems to behaving itself for the most part.  I'm going to try to get back to practicing this week for sure, and maybe even get to the studio.

I've been able to attend church more recently and that has been wonderful.  I've gotten to know some great people the last couple of months.  Several people started attending Terra Nova while I was sick and not attending regularly, so I have some catching up to do.  They are all wonderful and caring people and I love my church family very much.  

I think that is probably all for now, I haven't done much crocheting or photography to speak of.  So nothing to show there.  But I do have some recent photos of Popeye being his silly and cute self that I will post next time.  If you read all this, thanks for visiting my blog, I really appreciate those of you out there who care about me.

I'm behind.

I haven't posted in awhile, but that's because I've either been exhausted or busy.  The last few days were good, but now Ryan and I are both sick... so I'll be back when that has blown over with some updates and some pictures.

a joy for today

Today is a shitty day... yes I said it... shitty.  But for the last few weeks I've been able to hear an owl or two out of my windows.  This makes me happy.  Reminds me of God.  Reminds me that yes, I am still alive.  If all I can do is listen to the owl, I'm still alive.

Slumdog Millionare

I have posted in awhile, not because I've been particularly ill, mostly because I've been trying to get out more and do some things.  One of those things was to go see Slumdog Millionaire on Saturday.  I don't want to write a review or anything, it won awards and you can read any amount of reviews online.

I did want to write about my thoughts since seeing the movie.  It's been over a year since I visited India, and obviously the movie brought back a lot of memories and emotions.  As soon as the film began and I saw the children of India, I began to cry.  When I encountered children in India, they were some of the most life affirming moments for me.

From CJBIndia

They were excited to meet Americans and practice their English on us.  They were also incredibly eager to have their pictures taken and were always flirting.  Several children actually told me I was beautiful, no doubt they were looking for a couple rupees in return, but I will never forget the experience.

So these children in the film, playing cricket in the opening scene made me weep.  It made me recall the lives of the children we met in India, in all the different villages and cities that we visited.  And throughout the movie, I had one thought.  

Now that we've caught a glimpse of India, what children's lives can sometimes be like, what do we do with it?  What do we do with Slumdog Millionaire?  We can give it awards, and sing it's praises, but does that contribute anything to the people it's about, ultimately the children in India.  At the end of the movie Jamal, the newly minted millionaire, is only 18.  This is still a child by American standards. 

India has gotten a lot of attention since this film, and the Indian government has taken some steps to better the lives of the child stars of the movie.  But does this ultimately help.

We can take a mission trip to India, play with the children, build them a better home, but does this prevent it from being torn down.  Can we prevent violence in the street, can we prevent sickness that overcomes those in poverty?  

What do we do with this film??  It's more than just a movie, but what is it?

It's been nagging at me since I returned from India, what can I do, if anything to return the favor of what the people of India gave me when I visited?  I'm not sure there is an answer.

From CJBIndia

Yoga

So, I can't believe I haven't written about this yet, but I guess that's just the way things are.  

I've been practicing yoga for several months now.  It is one of the best experiences of my life, the fitness aspect as well as the life, body, mind centering that it brings.  I practice at a studio just a few blocks from where I live called Grow Yoga.  I just finished the first 8 week beginner Hatha series.  Of course I did not participate in all 8 weeks, because of my condition I missed out on 3 of them, but hope to continue going on Tuesday mornings.

I've become stronger after the sedentary life I had been living because of my condition.  I am also more flexible than I have ever been.  Which just blows my mind.  The benefits yoga has brought to my life are innumerable.

I will say this about the practice of yoga:

• No matter what your religious or spiritual beliefs are, for at least a few moments during your practice you can become centered on that one thing that holds your life together.  
• You become more aware of yourself, both in how your body moves and how your mind works. 
•  You can come to each practice moving only in the way your body will allow you.  This is most important for me, because of all the chronic pain and fatigue I experience.  
• From day to day you may not know what your abilities are going to be, but you can always participate in the practice of yoga as your body allows you to move in only comfortable non-harmful ways.
  

Because I am a new yogi on this journey I am not going to recommend any specific practice or style that may be better than another.  I am not going to tell you to go out and spend money on any one particular book or DVD.  But I do want to encourage you, if you feel that your body could use some movement and you can't find the one thing that works for you, seek out a yoga class.  Hatha yoga is perfect for beginners.  Be careful of classes that claim to be power yoga or hot yoga, while these are valid practices, if you have any kind of chronic condition that causes pain, weakness or fatigue, they would not be helpful classes for you. 

Don't be afraid to ask questions before you take a class, meet the instructor, make sure they know your specific needs.  If a particular instructor is not willing to listen about your limitations, then move on and find someone new.  This is not advice just for those of us in chronic pain, but everyone.  You need to find what works for you and not just what happens to be the biggest or most popular class.  

You will not master all poses immediately, but you may find that some things come more easy than others.  Work on those, but also challenge yourself into poses that give you problems.  I have benefited from working my body in as many directions as possible.  I have better posture, and I feel healthier from it.  

Because of the benefits I have received from yoga as a person in chronic pain, I've launched on a quest to learn all I can about the practice of yoga, and I would like to train to become a teacher specializing in helping those in chronic pain.  This isn't going to take place immediately as the amount of knowledge to be acquired by a yoga instructor is vast, and I do not want to rush my study because I want to enjoy the journey, and hopefully bring my experiences to help others like me.

As for what other paths I will be taking in the future, they are still unknown, but I trust they will be revealed in time.  In yoga we end with the word Namaste, meaning "the light in me honors the light in you."  This warrants it's own post in itself relating to my experiences in India.  But for now I will just finish this post with Namaste.