Directions

Several weeks ago, I experienced my first real life crisis, the thought of wanting to take my own life, and the inability to rationalize any reason not to.  Since then, as I've been going through treatment, I've been thinking about my life.  What directions do I want to go in, or what directions do I have the ability to go in.  Right now, I feel like I'm going in circles.  A few weeks ago I wrote about being on a roller coaster that wasn't fun anymore, I didn't really leave any explanation to the post, but my emotions are going up and down and sideways all the time, without any real rhyme or reason. 

I have so many passions, so many deep feelings for the people of this world and for the environment.  At the same time, I have so much going on in my own life.  I have to get myself on a more straight road, before I can help others.  I can't be much help to people when I don't know if I will be able to get out of bed from one day to another.  And this frustrates me.

Right now this blog seems to be the only connection I have with the world.  The only way to get the word out about what I see as important, what I see as needing to be done.  Yet sometimes I don't think that people are listening.  I began this blog because I felt I had something to say.  This is how my first blog post reads: 

Here I am, starting yet another blog. It's not because I'm trying to be cool or popular, but because I really have things to say. I do some writing over on Myspace, but it's really not cutting it for me. I spend too much time learning about people's private lives and not saying what I have to say, which is sometimes important. Also I wasn't spending enough time outside...I wasn't enjoy nature, God's creation. Now I am trying to spend much less time on the computer and much more time among the trees.
I am here to post my opinions and tell the world what I have to say. Please comment if you have something to add to the discussion, even if it's disagree with what I have to say. Nothing will never get resolved if there is no dialogue.

Now as I'm stuck with the directions of my life, I am also stuck with the directions of this blog.  I didn't think it was possible but over the last two years, I have found more things that I need to tell people about.  I began with the church, with spirituality, religion, and the environment.  I added bits in pieces of my daily life, hoping to show my beliefs in how I live.  Then came the GREAT PNEUMONIA INCIDENT, this kept me from blogging for several months, due to the fact that I could barely breath, or get out of bed.

Then with the diagnosis of many chronic illnesses, I turned the attention to this blog to advocating for awareness and understanding.  I saw this as an important aspect of my life,  but it did not have much of a place in a blog about Christianity and the Environment.  Also, with my recent crisis, I've become more involved in mental health awareness, and have been interested in keeping everyone I care about informed of my daily struggles.  Which this blog has also been ideal in serving in that purpose.

So here I am, expanding my horizons in the blogging world.  But I'm stuck, feeling like Dorothy on the Yellow Brick Road, and the Scarecrow is telling me which way to go.  Do I keep just one blog, and hope that the range of things I write about keep people interested enough to come back.  Or do I begin again with another blog separating the original Living in the MidWest about my life, Christianity, and the Environment, starting a new blog about chronic physical and mental illness, and my struggle with those.  Would I be able to keep up, would people read both, or would I just be stuck with two blogs, and no readers?

I've been going over this for some time now.  In reality I am fulfilling what my initial intention of this blog was, writing because I felt I had something important to say.  The scope of those important things have just been broadened since September of 2006.  

Please advise on this subject, because I've come to a cross roads and the scarecrow is not cutting it.