The Thanksgiving Post

I was unsure what to expect this Thanksgiving. This time last year I was still seriously recovering from Pneumonia and wasn't leaving the house or the couch for that matter.
As I said previously I have begun eating gluten free, so all the stuffing and pie and cake that I ate last year was out of the question.
We were invited to my sister in law Melissa's apartment in Cincinnati, and she took my food sensitivities seriously, investigating all she could on gluten free Thanksgiving foods. I've also been cutting back on dairy, but I handled that more by not eating things with dairy in it.
Mel made stuffing from gluten free corn bread, which had been my biggest concern, it was DELICIOUS. The turkey was moist and not only was their green bean casserole (on the no list) but steamed green beans that were very tasty. She left potatoes out of the masher for me to eat without milk, and made sure that everything was safe for me to eat. It was a great meal, I filled my plate, only once, as my stomach has been super sensitive lately.

This year I am Thankful for family who is so supportive of my lifestyle changes to a healthier me (this includes all my family and friends), I am thankful for being as healthy as I am, I am thankful for the nurses and doctors who have taken care of me over the past year both at Grady Hospital in Delaware, OH, and Harding OSU in Columbus. I am thankful for my church family both in PA and OH who have continued to support me in prayer and any other ways possible. I am thankful for God who has answered those prayers time and again.
A thanksgiving post would also not be complete without a thanks to my Hubby who has been there every step of the way. On my good days when I laugh, and on my really really horrible days when I can't do anything. He's always there and I am EXTREMELY grateful for that.

Here is a slide show from this fall, things I am grateful for.

Me and Gluten Free

I figure it's been about 3 or so weeks since I've been eating completely gluten free.  I started "trying" over the summer eating small amounts here and there, sticking to a mainly free diet, hoping that it would make my many digestion problems go away.  

After getting out of the hospital I made the commitment to go completely free and see how it made me feel.  When eating small amounts of gluten, I wasn't very sick, but perhaps I could feel better.  

My verdict so far is that I am feeling better than I was.  I think my skin is happier for it, by this time most years I would be itchy, scaly, and dry.  My face has also far less blemishes, and I'm starting to look like a grown up.

There are many other personal benefits here that I don't necessarily want to put out on to the world wide web for all to hear, but if you are interested drop me a note, and we can have a convo via e-mail.  Lets just say there are parts of my body that are much happier than at the beginning of the summer.

With Thanksgiving and Christmas coming, some things will be a challenge, but my whole family, including the in-laws are committed to making sure there are things for me to eat.  Fortunately I'm a meat eater, I'm very much looking forward to turkey, and sausage that my hubby made just this week.  Mel, the sis-in-law might try some wild rice stuffing or something similar instead of traditional bread stuffing, and I am making some cookies for my dessert.  I'm not much of a pie eater, so that's not such a huge issue.  Perhaps next year I will look into gluten free pumpkin pie.

One other challenge is that I have mostly given up dairy on my way to digestive health.  This is something I can cheat a little more at, weighing my consequences, but most days it's not worth it.  I'd rather just skip the dairy all together.  Which means no milk in my mashed potatoes.   I'll just be stealing some boiled ones and mashing them with my fork.  I refuse to give up butter, but so far this has not presented a problem.

I've been grateful to Gluten Free Girl and A Chronic Dose to help me ease into this new part of my life.  They've been a wealth of information and comfort, reading their words about their original struggles into the life of eating gluten free.

I Don't Even Know

I don't even know how to handle myself anymore.  I've been going to bed at a regular time and getting up at a regular time (earlier than Ryan would like).  Which means I'm getting real sleep, this is the first time I have gotten restorative sleep in about 8 years.  I've been busy walking, doing yoga, and household chores.  

But just because I can do these things does not mean things are much better.  Today for instance, I need desperately to do laundry, wash dishes, go to the pharmacy, the library, and the grocery.  But I'm laying in bed, exhausted.  My walk this morning was easy, just a quick jaunt around the block with a friend.

So why do I feel this why.  Why am I laying here, under the covers light turned off, barely able to keep my eyes open.  I want to cry, scream, throw a temper tantrum.  I don't ever remember if I threw temper tantrums when I was little, I'm sure I did, but this is how I feel the majority of the time now.  I want to roll on the floor, throw things, kick, scream, and yell..... I don't even have to yell real words.  I just want to yell.

I just want to be a responsible adult who can take care of the things that need taking care of.  I don't want to be tired, I don't want my body to hurt in places that there is no reason for.  I love the feeling I'm getting from Yoga, and it is stretching me out and causing some comfortable pain.  But then there are the jabbing ice pick pains, and the sore muscles, and bruises that have nothing to do with a physical activity.  I am just so tired of it.

And I'm so tired of being emotional about it.  I'm almost afraid that I want to emotionally hurt those around me so they can have at least an idea of what is going on.

I want to tear out my insides.  

I want how I feel inside to be visible to everyone on the outside.

I'm turning off the comments for this post... I  know what people will say and I just don't even really need to hear it, because I've heard it already.  No offense to my readers.  I just want this to be a post on the internet, with no discussion.  Period.

A Second Look

I already posted this picture, but I knew when I took it I wanted it to say something special.  When I first took the picture I noticed the nut shells amongst the fallen leaves.  Then I noticed the snow from one of the first flakes of the year.  The squirrels had already gathered their nuts for the year, and the snow wasn't yet heavy enough to weigh down the leaves.  And now I know the nuts are hickory.

I hope you like it.

Warm Up America

Warm Up America is my most recent project.  I'm working on crocheting 7"x9" squares to put together into afghans.  These afghans then get distributed to victims of domestic violence who have fled their homes, victims of natural disasters, homeless, and other low income people.  

My afghan(s) most likely will go to the Common Grounds Free Store in Delaware OH.  Although Ryan and I are living in Columbus, our church home is in Delaware, and is really committed to making a difference in the lives of people in Delaware.  So that's where I hope these will be going.  I will post pictures as the afghan comes a long, we will see if I can get it done in any kind of timely manner.

Meanwhile check out the websites for these places, it is good stuff.